Get married at 25, Have all your kids by 30, live your best life from 22, and many more BS is the tips and tricks we are getting today!
I am not against all of these numbers but against how much pressure they put on you that you forget YOU while trying to fit in with Them.
Hello and welcome to the first post of the Value blog where we will discuss embracing your individuality over blending in or conforming.
In this piece, I will liken the word “blend in / conform” to signing your life away to mediocrity but first, let’s dive in.
WHAT IS INDIVIDUALITY?
Individuality refers to the distinct characteristics, qualities, and traits that make a person unique and distinguishable from others.
It includes your thoughts, beliefs, values, personality, appearance, interests, talents, and experiences.
As always, individuality reflects the essence of who you are as a person which shapes your identity and defines your sense of self.
Your individuality is influenced by a combination of factors such as genetics, upbringing, cultural and societal influences, personal choices, and life experiences.
It encompasses the inherent traits you were born with and the ones you develop over time.
To get deeper, your individuality is tied to your idea of self-expression and the freedom to be yourself without conforming to societal expectations or pressures.
It will encourage you to embrace your uniqueness, celebrate diversity, and honor the autonomy and agency of your person.
Individuality is an essential aspect of your existence as it allows for the expression of diverse perspectives, creativity, and innovation.
You will find it easier to pursue your goals and dreams, contribute your unique talents and skills to society, and engage in meaningful relationships and interactions with others.
NOT EMBRACING INDIVIDUALITY, WHAT WILL GO WRONG?
Your individuality is an ingredient.
Whether you have thought about it or not, your individuality sets you apart as I have explained above.
It leaves you at the top of your game and helps you live a balanced life but what happens when it is not in the ingredient of your life meal?
Overpowered By Excuses
Excuses are the crush we lean on when we can’t stand on our own.
Since excuses often arise from a fear of losing out on life (failure, success, mistakes, change, etc), a desire to fit in, or a reluctance to take responsibility for your actions.
You will be overpowered by your excuses because you will not be able to make the decisions, commitments, or even take actions that will help you stand out!
Anonymity and Not Taking Responsibility
When you are out of touch with yourself, you become a part of the crowd.
If you ever want to feel less accountable with the world “it’s not my fault” consistently dancing on your lips, finds solace in being a part of the crowd.
It always comes with a kind of anonymity, that makes you feel less accountable for your actions.
This can lead to behaviors that might be different from how you would have acted if it was just you because you don’t want to be scorned, either positively or negatively.
If you want the life you desire, don’t feel less personally responsible for your actions because you believe others will take charge or share the responsibility.
I will one day get married and my spouse will be in charge of it is signing with mediocrity, equip yourself with all that is needed.
Emotional Contagion:
The feelings and emotions of your tribe are very important in navigating the life you desire.
If you feel the urge to make more out of your life than you already have, if your circle is okay with where they are and it is presented in the daily conversations, YOU ARE GOING NOWHERE!
Experiencing intense emotions collectively, such as need, excitement, joy, or anger can quickly spread among individuals in a tribe.
You must be sure the amplifier in your emotional atmosphere influencing individual emotions is the right energy that aligns with your individuality.
Collective action:
Your kind of crowd also serves as a catalyst for collective action that takes you down.
If those you come together with do not embrace their individuality, you cannot do anything with yours.
You won’t be able to express yourself, share your concerns, or take action for change.
10 Tips To Embracing Your Individuality!
The one thing I am able to relate to in my life at this time is the need to be MARRIED!
I have heard it so much that I can tell when i person is about to ask me the question “You are 25, when are you getting married?”
To embrace your individuality is to not conform to the pressure coming to eat you up!
The pressure is inevitable but the means to handle it is from the place of constant practice that involves the following actions.
Define your values and goals:
Whenever I was asked when I am getting married, I will answer with the question “What am I taking to the marriage?”
My biggest thing was to be a substantial woman before deciding to find a man and a fresh graduate with just a BSC and nothing to her name was not cutting the image for me.
Having a clear sense of your values and goals will help you establish a strong foundation for your actions.
This will bring about clarity and allows you to prioritize what truly matters to you while you avoid making excuses that contradict your core beliefs.
Embrace your uniqueness
I used to hate hearing my own voice but now I cannot do without it.
I recently heard someone say “She is always talking” but I didn’t respond because it is just what makes me unique.
I do not talk about irrelevant things nor do I have a voice that isn’t pleasant and the two combined made me UNIQUE.
Understand that it's okay to have different interests, opinions, and perspectives than those around you.
Embrace your strengths, talents, and quirks, and allow them to shine.
Avoid making excuses for what makes you unique for the fear of judgment or rejection.
Embracing your uniqueness is important to developing the confidence to be yourself without making excuses for who you are.
With this, you realize that your individuality is valuable and worthy of expression.
Explore Your Passions
You must first do the good work yourself by pursuing your passions.
This will help you develop your own identity and set you apart from the crowd.
When you are engaged in activities you genuinely enjoy, It will provide a genuine sense of purpose and motivation to keep going.
You are less likely to make excuses to avoid them and in the end, this passion will fuel your perseverance.
It will make it easier to overcome excuses and stay committed to your desired goals.
Be Confident In Your Choices:
Trust yourself and have confidence in the decisions you make.
Don't be swayed by peer pressure or the fear of judgment.
Individuality is absolute but not blind trust in yourself
Listen to your instincts and follow your own path, even if it means going against the crowd.
This confidence is a powerful antidote to making excuses.
When you trust your judgment and have confidence in your choices, you become more responsible.
You are less likely to make excuses to justify alternative actions or avoid taking responsibility for your decisions.
Surround yourself with like-minded individuals
Find the people who share your interests and values.
Connect with people who appreciate and support your individuality.
Build or join a network of like-minded friends and mentors that can provide encouragement and help you stay true to yourself.
It will not only help you stay accountable, but you will also have people who understand and support your journey.
They can encourage you to overcome excuses and stay focused on your path.
Educate yourself
Individuality will only thrive on expanded knowledge and broadened perspectives.
Continuous learning is how to never get old.
Excuses, animosity, and not taking responsibility often arise from a lack of knowledge or understanding.
You will be able to form your own opinions and think critically in a way that set you apart from the crowd.
Read books, attend workshops, take courses, and engage in intellectual discussions.
By continuously learning and expanding your knowledge, you become better equipped to address challenges and find solutions.
Education empowers you to overcome excuses by providing you with the tools and information necessary to take action.
Take calculated risks
Break out of your comfort zone and take calculated risks.
Individuality is being open to new experiences and opportunities that align with your values and goals.
Excuses and animosity can often be a defense mechanism to avoid taking risks or facing uncertainty.
By stepping outside your comfort zone and taking calculated risks, you challenge your excuses and demonstrate a willingness to embrace opportunities for growth.
Stepping outside the crowd often requires courage, but it can lead to personal growth and new achievements.
Practice self-expression
Find creative ways to express yourself authentically.
I started mine with a podcast and short voice notes until I became the lady with the most amazing voice you’ve ever listened to.
Yours can be any form of art, music, writing, speaking, or any other form of self-expression that feels like with you.
Use these ways to communicate your unique perspectives and showcase your individuality.
At this point, you might be telling yourself you don’t want to be known but this excuse sometimes grows from a fear of expressing your true thoughts and feelings.
Engaging in creative activities and practicing self-expression allows you to communicate your ideas and emotions authentically, reducing the need for excuses.
Practice self-reflection:
I didn’t get this good by only expressing myself, it was more than that.
My fiancee regularly talks about the weirdness of listening to my own voice notes, podcasts and even reading my books or status updates.
This is consistent self-reflection and you must regularly take time to self-reflect.
It is a way to assess your actions, choices, behaviors, products, and more to ensure they align with your values, goals, and the person you are becoming.
This introspection will help you stay on track and make adjustments as needed.
Nothing special about what I do is an excuse that can be a way of deflecting responsibility from yourself.
You are clearly avoiding self-reflection.
The benefit of regular reflection on your actions and choices is simple, you become more aware of the excuses you make and can address them head-on.
Self-reflection enables you to take ownership of your decisions and find alternative solutions.
Learn patience and persistence
It is not enough to get booed or scorned 5 to 10 times and give up on your individuality.
You must remember that standing out and finding your own path will takes time.
If you lack patience with yourself you will achieve nothing no matter how much you try.
If you find it hard to be persistent in this pursuit of your individuality, you are going NOWHERE!
Just embrace the journey while learning from both your successes and setbacks.
That is the only way to win the game of individuality.
Conclusion
To detach from the crowd, stand when they sit, and stand out when they stand is no walk in the park but I must give it to you for reading till this point.
It only shows this is a path the core of your desires and I am sure I can help you achieve this in no time.
Keep following the value blog for more updates and do not forget to read tomorrow’s issue of our newsletter.
This is a very beautiful, amazing write up. I love the title.
I love it when you said
"Individuality is being open to new experiences and opportunities that align with your values and goals" - this shows that being unique doesn't mean to be limited.
And I love the practicing self reflection, when you said
"It's a way to asses your actions, choices, behaviours, to ensure they align with your goals and the person you're becoming.
Being self accountable, making sure your reason isn't diverted🌹
It's indeed a write up from the value queen❤️